Angkast

“One of the most common questions we get asked here at Angkast is ‘what’s it like working with so many different writers?’ You aren’t gonna be asking that, are you? I swear if I have to answer that one more time I’m gonna kill someone.”

Zeke sits in an actor’s folding chair. He is adorned in his white cloak, and has all of the trimmings of an assassin.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Zeke. We’ve got loads of questions for you, and I assure you none of them are even remotely similar to that.”

Opposite Zeke sits a man adorned in rich silk clothing of deep purples and black trimmings. At his waist hangs a sword with an ornate black pummel laced with gold. Though clearly royalty, an evil aura seems to surround him.

“Oh, good… best get on with it then, eh?”

“Hi folks, I’m Yssar and you might remember me from such coups as the assassination of my brother Dathomir. Though I was only present in Angkast for a single flashback, and never actually spoke any lines, I still always felt like an outcast member of the family here. Anyway, today we’re joining one of the members of the cast. You all know him as Ezekiel Bramb, an enigmatic member of the Assassin’s Guild, who almost stopped me from assassinating my brother Dathomir, after his “unlawful” (at least in my opinion) ascension to the Angkast royal throne. We, on the other hand, all know him as Zeke, the trickster.”

Yssar turns away from us to Zeke, and we continue watching over his shoulder.

“You were never part of the family, you know,” Zeke says nonchalantly. “Actually I can’t remember anyone ever saying a good word about you here. You weren’t even really part of the show! I mean, you were here for like a whole twenty minutes, and the whole time you just skulked in shadows; I even killed you in the shadows in your room. We barely even saw your face!”

“Nice.” Yssar isn’t too pleased, but he’s willing to swallow his pride to continue the interview. “So, Zeke, what’s it like playing a feared assassin?”

“It can be pretty cool sometimes. Like when I killed you; that was pretty fun. Most of the time it’s just slinking about, looking serious and occasionally being overly introspective – it is fun, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes you just want to rush in like a barbarian and slaughter everything in sight.” Zeke gives us an impish grin and turns back expectantly to Yssar.

“Sure, I guess we can all relate to that. I mean, we’ve all seen how much fun Cian has on set.”

Cian’s voice, as if on cue (which it most definitely certainly is not… mostly) startles us. “”We must save the world! Fear me and my sword of Almighty Justice! I shall destroy all those who stand in my way!”

Zeke swivels in his seat to look at Cian over his shoulder, currently on set, swinging a sword around. She pauses, waves at us, then charges off stage.

Armeny walks into the frame looking after Cian. She turns to Zeke, with an oh-no-not-again look on her face. “I thought we agreed not to let her have any more red cordial?”

Zeke shrugs and Armeny wanders off. He turns back to Yssar. In the background we see Rulana sprint past, followed moments later by Cian, who is shouting at the top of her lungs and still waving the sword about. “Come back here! Come back and fight me! Bunch of cowards, the lot of you!”

Zeke grins cheekily. “Then again, maybe the shadows are a safer place after all.”

“Amen, brother.”

“Don’t call me brother.”

Yssar clears his throat. “So what’s the best thing about working here at the set?”

Zeke grins. “I’d definitely have to say the way the cast have bonded into being one happy family. I mean, just the other day we had this great picnic, even though Dathomir fell into the river whilst wearing his Princely™ battle armour. We spent most of the day fishing him out, but it was a whole lot of fun.”

“I didn’t hear about a picnic.”

“That’s ‘cause you weren’t invited to it.” Yssar’s face falls. “It’s also great how the entire crew, including the writers and everything are like an extended family to us. We get hurt, they cry kind of thing. It’s really a terrific bond.”

Yssar clears his throat. “I understand the series has been picked up for another season. Any chance of characters who may have been killed off previously making a return?”

“Not exactly, I mean that would be kinda stupid. It’s not like a computer game, where we can just resurrect a character and bring them back for another go. We really need to have plausible stories or the fans will bitch and moan about it forever. Though at the moment I think Steve’s trying to come up with a way to bring Dathomir back into the grander scheme of things. Apparently his role in Angkast’s history was supposed to be far grander than it has been so far – something about prophecies or something. I’m not quite sure what he’s planning, but they’ve been throwing around ideas about visions or dreams or apparitions or something like that. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“What about me?” Yssar looks hopeful.

“Not a chance.”

“What about Zeke having dreams about the way he killed me? I mean, I’m sure Steve could work something like that into it and make it plausible. Maybe a kind of deep-seated regret about what he’s done, and all he’s lost for it.”

“Actually, I’m pretty sure people only have those kinds of dreams when they’re not happy ‘bout what they’ve done. Zeke’s pretty damn content with what he did. Exacted revenge on behalf of a wrongfully murdered king, you know.”

Yssar leans back in his chair. He’s clearly not happy. “So a lot of fans have been asking when they’re gonna kill Zeke off. I mean it’s pretty obvious his major part in the story’s already been played out. Many think he’s just being used as ‘filler’ until someone better comes along.”

“You wish. The fans love me! I do read my fan mail, you know.” He looks over at us and winks, grinning. “Not to mention I read just about everyone else’s too. They love the character! Hell, they’re even asking to see me in a romance. I think Armeny’s the fan favourite at the moment, but they’d also like to see a sexy new character, maybe a Northern barbarian sex vixen.”

Steve yells out “You wish!” from somewhere off-stage.

Yssar knows he’s beaten, but he’s in a really bad mood now.

“So Zeke, what’s it like working with so many different writers?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer; he gets up, kicks his chair over and storms onto the set. Zeke, annoyed, follows him. Suddenly, Rulana comes sprinting back on-set, screaming “She’s out of her mind!”

Zeke and Yssar glance over, then chase after Rulana.

“Come back here you cowards! Somebody fight me! Anybody! You there, camera guy! Hey, where’re you going? Get back here! That’s an order!”

Steve’s voice rings out again, “Uhh, Cian? You can’t actually order anyone around… I mean, you just don’t have that kind of power here.” She turns to face where the voice is coming from, eyebrows raised. Slowly, she advances.

“Then again, you do have that sword…” A chair falls, and we hear someone scrambling away as Cian breaks into a run again.